09. The Emotional Labor of Being an Educator

These days, teachers are dropping like flies out of the classroom. More times than not, you hear about how exhausted they are from teaching, the lack of support provided by admin, the very challenging behaviors of our students, or the daily disrespect from the parents.

On top of all the responsibilities we carry with our roles within the school, we also have to carry the burdens of the students we encounter. Personally, I still find my flabbers gasted when I hear about some of the problems that our kids are going home to. Is teaching a calling, passion, or purpose? For sure. I also truly believe that the emotional side of it is not talked about enough. We have to find ways to hold space for the kids while also showing up with patience and compassion even when we are pouring from an empty cup. Those outside of the teaching profession have no idea what we encounter, but for the rest of us it’s a reality we deal with head on daily.

Once I learned that it’s more than making sure my kids make progress on their IEP goals and also the emotional responsibility we carry. Teachers likely know their students better than their parents (sad but true). We can tell when there’s been a change at home based on their behavior, when can tell when they didn’t sleep the night before, anxious, or hurting. We celebrate the small and big victories and comfort them through their disappointments. All of this is done all while carrying the load of twenty some odd children! Typing this out makes it seem more outrageous than I realize. I don’t think about this when I’m going into work each day. I’m thinking about how I can be my absolute best self for the kids that are hurting or need a little more love.

Acknowledging the emotional labor of teaching does not mean I regret choosing this profession. Two things can be true right? Many educators can attest to the impact being meaningful and the relationships being powerful. But recognizing the weight of the work we carry is also very necessary if we want to keep the people around who make the choice to do it. Educators need space to rest, to have boundaries, and to be just as supported as their students they serve. When educators are well emotionally, we are better equipped to do what we have done best since the beginning of time; show up, care, and help our students grow.

With teacher appreciation week coming up, so the teachers in your lives some compassion. Recognize their ability to continue to show up for their students, families, and their friendships. Lord knows we need it.

08. More Than My Letters: Navigating Denouncing in Black Greek Culture

Denouncing a sorority or fraternity is one of the most controversial decisions a member of Black Greek life can make. In many Black communities, those letters represent more than membership…they represent history, sister/brotherhood, service, and legacy. They are tied to our identity, our friendships, and sometimes even our sense of purpose. So when someone chooses to denounce, it can feel personal to others, even if the decision was deeply personal to the individual. It raises questions about loyalty, belonging, and what it truly means to be committed to an organization.

For some, denouncing is not about disrespect or rebellion. It can stem from spiritual convictions or life changes that shift how a person sees themselves and their values. Other times, the decision comes after difficult experiences that leave someone feeling disconnected from the community they once cherished. These choices are rarely impulsive. More often, they are the result of deep reflection, prayer, and emotional struggle.

At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge the emotional impact denouncing can have on members who remain. Greek organizations are sacred spaces built on shared sacrifice and lifelong commitment. Watching someone walk away, usually publicly at that, can feel like a rejection of that bond. There can be disappointment, confusion, or even hurt—especially when the organization has played a significant role in shaping lives, theirs included, and serving communities. Although not always understood, these feelings are real, and they deserve to be recognized with empathy.

Another layer to this conversation is the public nature of denouncing. In many cases, the decision itself is deeply personal, yet the announcement becomes very public…sometimes just as loud, if not louder, than the celebration that came with crossing into the organization. Social media posts, videos, and formal statements can turn what could have been a private transition into a public declaration. For observers, this raises questions about motivation. We all remember the Howard Delta who after not being in her organization longer than a month (I’m being generous) quickly turned around and decided to denounce publicly. Is the public denouncement meant to inform, to heal, to take a stand…or, in some cases, to seek validation or attention? It’s an uncomfortable question, but one worth considering. The manner in which the denouncement takes place, that is definitely a valid question. While everyone has every right to make decisions about their membership, the way those decisions are shared can shape how the message is received and how relationships within the community are affected.

Ultimately, denouncing is a personal decision—one that sits at the intersection of identity, faith, and autonomy. It challenges us to think about how we define loyalty, growth, and belonging. Whether someone chooses to remain committed to their letters or to step away from them, the conversation should be rooted in respect. Because at the end of the day, the values that brought many of us into Greek life—service, sisterhood, and community—are bigger than any single decision. And those values can still guide how we treat one another, even when our paths look different.

Walking away is a personal choice—but making a spectacle of that choice can shift the focus from growth to performance.

07. Adulthood, Blackness, & Religion

The life and times of growing up black and religious.

Easter circa 1990

There’s something about stepping into adulthood as a Black millennial that forces you to reexamine everything you were taught growing up —especially religion. For many of us, church wasn’t optional; it was routine, structure, community, and identity all wrapped into one. Sundays were reserved, outfits were laid out, and faith was something we inherited before we even understood it. But adulthood introduces questions that childhood never required us to answer. And suddenly, what once felt like tradition starts to feel like a choice.

A lot of us have chosen to step away — not always out of rebellion, but out of reflection. Church hurt is real. Trauma tied to judgment, hypocrisy, or feeling unseen can leave wounds that don’t just disappear because someone says “pray about it.” Then there’s the deeper layer: the growing awareness of how Christianity was historically used as a tool of control, especially against Black people. That realization alone has made many millennials pause and ask, “Is this truly my faith, or something that was passed down without room for questioning?” And for some, the answer leads them away from the church entirely.

But here’s the truth we don’t always say out loud — walking away doesn’t always mean staying away. As we grow, experience life, and face things that stretch us emotionally and spiritually, some of us find ourselves circling back. Not necessarily to the same version of religion we were raised in, but to something more personal, more intentional. Faith begins to look different. It becomes less about routine and more about relationship, less about obligation and more about understanding. And for others, growth means embracing a life without organized religion altogether, finding peace, purpose, and grounding in different ways.

Where my praise dancers at lol? Circa 1998

What’s important is recognizing that this journey isn’t one-size-fits-all. Black millennials are navigating faith, identity, and healing in real time, and that deserves space without judgment. Whether someone returns to church, redefines their spirituality, or chooses a completely different path, it’s all rooted in the same desire: to live authentically and whole. Adulthood has given us permission to question, to unlearn, and to rebuild — and that, in itself, is a powerful kind of faith.

06. The Safe Space of Sisterhood

What about your ffffrrrrrriiiiieeeennnnndddddsssssss???!!! As we get older, I feel like all millennial adults talk about is how difficult is finding your tribe. I’m so glad that is not my portion.

As a child, I don’t feel like I had many friends. I was super shy and kinda awkward which all equates to insecurity. I don’t feel like I really found my place with friend groups until I got older and became more sure of myself.

Through heartbreaks, life accomplishments, and everything else that life throws at us, I’m so appreciative of my girls. I’m surrounded by some amazing women and if they only knew how much my heart smiles when we get together.

Bestie for the restie

I don’t even think I can put into words how important it is to find a core group of friends that you can depend on. We don’t need 10, 36, or 100 friends. Get you a good solid 5/6 and you’ll be good. And I know it’s easier said than done but if you go into these relationships with good intentions, the good will come back. To my girls, I love y’all

My lawyer baddie

05. The Hardest Grace To Give

Grace is hard enough to extend. Even harder when it’s to myself.

…is to myself. Over time, I have tried to figure out the best ways to overcome this but I’m still struggling. Still.

Without fail, it’s like my brain goes into overtime throwing the harshest words (or thoughts) at myself for the simplest mistakes. It’s a daily constant uphill battle. I have all the affirmations, playlists, bible verses, accomplishments to combat my brain but baby I’m mean lol. To people when warranted and to myself unfortunately.

So…I’m learning (as we all are). As mean as I can get when others play in my face is the same tone and delivery I give myself (apparently it’s the only way I’ll listen 🫠). I’m thankful for Porsha on her interview with Angie, because girl shut the freak up.

She ate when she got on Beyoncé internet with this message 🫨

If you also struggle, let’s promise each other that we will tap into our delusion. We will walk into every room like we’re all that and a bag of chips (because you are). You are that girl and just because the world struggles with accepting we walk it like we talk it, does not mean we have to be a crab in that barrel.

I love you sista. Treat yourself better than what you look for in others 🤎

03. How I’m Balancing Grad School, Teaching, & Still Making Time For Me

For a lot of people, the Spring semester of grad school started this past Tuesday and I’m already behind 🫠. Please respect my privacy and don’t ask me how and I’m only 3 days in. Getting this M.Ed is super important and I’m currently on a moderate paced sprint to the finish line (coming December 2026). In order for me to get to that finish line with my mental in tact, I need to make sure I’m balancing all the important things in my life. The Lord did not put me on his good green earth to just work. So I’m making time to work hard and play just as hard.

For starters, setting specific days/times when I will sit and do all things grad school are a big help. I put a prompt in ChatGPT to make a calendar for all the things I am doing. Right now I have 3 days out of the week that I have devoted to this. No matter what, I stick to this schedule because I know it’ll give me the allowance to still do all the other activities I actively participate in on the regular. I rely heavily on my icalendar and my planner to keep me on track. If it’s not in either of those…it ain’t happening.

Monthly solo dates are a major 🔑. Not only is this something I keep on my bingo card every year, but it gives me something to look forward to when the days are dragging and I feel like my fire is starting to dim. My first solo date of the year is coming soon and I’m super excited about it. I can sometimes get dependent if my friends will come with me but I have to tap back into the mind frame of if it’s something I really want to do, then I shouldn’t let if I’ll have a buddy determine if I go or not. Life is crazy 🙃 and we all should find happiness in all the little things.

This seems like it should go without saying but no is a complete sentence. I don’t need to be everywhere, doing all the things if I don’t have the capacity to do so. If I had a long day of dealing with y’all kids and I need to rest, it’s ok for me to do that. I feel like it’s easier to say no or think things over before giving a fast yes. Because the same feelings I have about not saying yes are the ones that come up when I change my mind and have to figure out how to break the news to the other person. Pray my strength. I’m determined to finish out my grad school career better than I did in undergrad. So far I’m on the right track as long as I keep these things in mind. What are y’all doing to stay afloat if you’re in grad school?

02. I Miss A Man and I Hate It

Y’all…I miss a man. I miss a man that lied to me. I miss a man that I let my guard down around. I miss a man that I hate I gave my attention after being single for several months. I miss a man who I had no intention of meeting anyone the night I went out and met him. I miss a man that even though I was questioning and side-eyeing just about everything he said but still continued to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I miss that man but…it’s ok. My body is catching up to realizing that he is no longer apart of my life. That all that time I spent driving back and forth to spend time with him is over with. It’s all apart of the dating scene and I’m learning to give myself grace. I can’t expect to meet my husband if I’m completely closed off to the world. These feelings would have had to come eventually right? As much as I would love to just step outside and meet my husband, life doesn’t work like that.

I’m learning to realize that I am, as cliche as it sounds, a lover girl. If I’m interested in you, I’m all in. 10 toes. Even as I’m sitting here typing this, that trait is literally in my DNA. I’ve tried many, many, many times to turn it off but clearly fail 🫠. I don’t think I want to turn that part of me off even if I could. Could I be more guarded or mindful about jumping in head first every time…sure. But…‘tis life. I’ll keep being the lover girl I am…just a more mindful, cautious lover girl 🥰

One of the last pictures he took before 💩 hit the fan. Should I delete the ones he took of only me too?

01. My Top 5 Reads by Black Authors for 2025

Last year, I made a goal of reading 24 books and surpassed that by reading a total of 53 books. So here’s a recap of some of my favs…in no particular order.

Only for the Week by Natasha Bishop

The MMC (main male character) is THE example of my “may this kind of love find me”. Rome was so intentional in the things he did with Janelle. Of course, there were bumps along the way, but what perfect love story doesn’t. It was beautiful to read how everything fell into place for them. Read this now, read it today.

Cutthroat by Octavia Grant

I could not help but to give this book 5 stars. From the time I clicked on the cover in my Kindle to the very end when I “turned” the last page, Octavia had me by the scalp (and that ain’t hard to do seeing as how I only have a scoop of hair lol). I’m not going to say too much other than if you haven’t read this yet you needed to do it like yesterday.

Wash Hair Diaries by Jamila Rowser

This graphic novel was such a cute, light-hearted read about sisterhood. Each character went through her own situation but with the support of the other women in the friend group, they were able to overcome. Somebody cue the Girlfriends theme song.

Matriarch by Tina Knowles

I love a good memoir. I’m very much nosey Rosie and any information I can learn about a person’s life I appreciate. Ms. Tina really takes the reader through her life from the beginning and through all the good and bad times. She helped me gain even more of an understanding of why the family matriarch is so so so important.

Losing Sight by Tati Richardson

This was my introduction into Tati’s work and it was utter perfection. As a 4-eyed baddie, it had me hoping I too can find a pair of magical glasses so I can fall in love with a sexy eye Dr. Heck, I’ll take a pair of magical glasses to see through all the male baddies of this sassy apocalypse. Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyuuuucccckkkk!